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Have you ever found yourself frozen at your desk starting a project that should excite you, but instead it fills you with overwhelming dread. You know that the tears start to well up in your eyes and your brain, it just shuts down if you're nodding your head right now, I have been in that situation, so this episode is for you. What if I told you that this paralysis isn't a sign that you're incapable of something or that your business ideas are going to fail?
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The truth is that many solopreneurs what feels like we're a failure is actually our mind working against us in ways that we don't even recognize. And if you don't learn to break these mental barriers, then you'll just keep cycling through projects and tasks, but never really developing your business into something that supports you. So stay tuned. I'm going to take you through four steps I use to break the cycle in this episode.
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Ready to break free from the solopreneur struggle. This is the ease and impact thriving as a solopreneur Podcast. I'm Frankie Jay, a sofa a mum and an eight year solopreneur myself. Join me as I peel back the layers to a thriving online business without the guru hype or the burnout. I'm going to show you the proven strategies and tools that I use so you can build a sustainable digital business without sacrificing your well being. Let's get you thriving as a solo preneur.
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Welcome to ease and impact your weekly dose of practical advice for the solo business journey. I am your host, Frankie J and today we're diving into something that affects almost every solopreneur I've ever met, but few talk openly, and that's about recognizing where our brain chemistry is working against us, versus simply fear of the unknown. So before we get started, if you have been finding value in these conversations, make sure you hit that follow or subscribe button wherever you get this podcast, so you never miss an episode. As solopreneurs, we've probably all heard this standard advice, right? Just push through or hustle harder. Buy this course, use this tech tool manifest success, be more consistent. And while you're implementing all that advice, don't forget to maintain that perfect work life balance while taking care of your family. But here's what most of the people you're learning from out there don't really recognize or go into that is your business doesn't exist in a vacuum. It exists within the ecosystem of you, your mental health, your hormone balances, your life circumstances, everything and sometimes where we hit roadblocks in our business, what we're actually experiencing isn't a business problem at all, as women, solopreneurs in our 30s, 40s and plus, we're facing unique challenges. Many of us are balancing hormonal shifts like perimenopause or menopause that can significantly impact our mental clarity and emotional regulation. Some of us are making lifestyle changes like sobriety, that while are ultimately beneficial, often reveal underlying issues that we've been managing through alcohol or other ways. So as a result, we become perhaps more overwhelmed, more easily in life and business. So when I find myself slipping into that freeze mode, that state where you know, to even taking the smallest action just feels impossible. Here are the four steps that have saved me countless times so that I can move forward with whatever it is I'm working on. First is to become aware of the state that you're in and simply naming what you're experiencing can sometimes create space between you and that emotion. But instead of saying I am overwhelmed, try I'm feeling overwhelmed. So one is you putting an identity to yourself that you are overwhelmed, and one is that you're experiencing a feeling of overwhelm. And there's a beautiful Irish expression that comes to mind, and I'm probably going to say it wrong, but I'll give it a go to Brune. Or
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could be saying that slightly off, but it basically means sadness is upon me. And I think of that whenever I think of negative, negative emotions in general, and because it really demonstrates how emotions are temporary. They're not defining. They are not your permanent identity. So you could also say overwhelm is upon me, and that's what I like to use next, is I take some deep breaths while practicing something called havening. Now, this is a psycho sensory technique that helps to calm your nervous system, and without going into all the science, because I am not an expert in this, I have some amazing people in my circle that are which I should totally have on the show. But I'm going to teach you a few ways you can use it, and one is to Rub your palms together in a circular motion, kind of
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like you're rubbing a marble between them. So if you rub your your palms together, that's that's one way, while you're taking your deep breath.
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Process, or another way, is to put your hands at the top of your shoulders and brushing down to your elbows. So I'll try and put a link to some demonstrations of what that looks like for those who aren't watching the video. But this is basically a self soothing touch that actually sends signals to your brain that you're safe. So that next step is to take a few deep breaths while doing that. You can do both of them,
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just to sort of calm that
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immediate, heightened emotion. Then I count down from five during a long exhale, and the countdown from five, technique I learned from Mel Robbins, but at the end of my countdown, I'll ask myself, what's one action I could take right now that can move me forward to my goal or move me closer to that goal, whatever it is I'm working on, and you can make it really tiny, if necessary. So after doing a bit of the havening touch while calming your central nervous system with the breathing, counting down from five and asking myself that question, what's one task? Whatever it is that I can take right now and then, the next step is to finally set a timer for 15 minutes and commit to working on that, that one action that you told yourself. And if you find yourself getting into a flow, wonderful, keep going. But at the very least you've given yourself 15 minutes to work on that project or that task to get you that much further forward. What makes this technique really powerful is that addresses both the physiological aspects of that freeze response and the psychological aspect of the fear. So the physical techniques like havening that help regulate your nervous system, while the tiny action step bypasses your brain's detection of a threat. So think about it this way, when you're feeling overwhelmed, there's a section of your brain essentially telling you this is dangerous. Stop immediately. But by choosing one small step and in a limited time frame, you're you're telling your brain we're just exploring, you know, we're not committing to anything too scary. And what I've discovered through my own journey is that once I take that first step, the next becomes easier. Now the fear doesn't disappear completely, and in all honesty, I think that's a good thing, because fear is often that sign that you're pushing into growth territory, the key is to not let it paralyze you. Remember your business challenges aren't separate from your personal challenges. As a solopreneur, they're interconnected, and by learning techniques to better manage your mental health and your emotional state, you're actually working towards running a more successful business. So I'd love to hear your experiences with this technique. Have you tried something similar, or what works for you when that fear and overwhelm threaten to derail your progress, drop your thoughts, your questions in the comments below, and I will be sure to respond.
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Thank you so much for joining me today. Remember, the path of a solopreneur is not about perfection, it's about progress, one small step at a time until next week. Keep creating that impact with ease.
